Splapped

WEE! Im splapping again!

2005-10-30T14:18:00.000-08:00

Little late to start a high school from beginning huh? NUH! Hah! That means negative. Anyway, I'm posting again. These are the things I do to splap people at school nowadays:

I run up walls frequently.

I go up to "thug" black people and ask them for food and money.

I ask a lot of people if they have a dollar.

I give people a dollar for no reason.

I race people.

I raced a midget named Shane.

I beat the midget named Shane.

I didn't mean to make fun of you, Shane.

I inform people that are walking, that they are walking.

I stand up on a 3 foot wall and say: "I am king!"

I hang out with the drama kids.

I hang out with the band geeks.

I hang out with the freaks.

I hang out with the hyper people.

And that is just a little bit of what I do. I am not going to post about any girlfrieinds. Wee! I still post on cardbored knight too.

Cardboard

2005-07-21T17:09:00.000-07:00

I have a newer and better site all about me in a cardboard knight suit! go
Here to see it. The videos are on my links on the side.

-The Master of Splap

Story

2005-06-28T21:04:00.000-07:00

A hot streak of blue shattered across the sky. A tremendous clash followed it as water poured from the heavens. The Sky turned green as the clouds became dark. The rain became more and more violent. And then it started. At first it was just a little twist of the clouds. Then it touched the ground. It became larger and larger. It turned darker and darker. Destroying all that lay in it's path. A finger of god. A black tower of hell. It tore up house after house until there was nothing left. It became so humongous that if given the chance, could destroy a small town. Thankfully this was out in the country, where only few were killed. Eventually after what seemed an eternity. It ended. Just like that.

-The Master of Splap

MOVED

2005-06-22T13:06:00.000-07:00

I AVE A BETTER LOCATION FOR MY BLOG! go
HERE to see it. I also have the design for the t-shirts! MORE INFORMAITON ON THAT BLOG. I will vaguely write anything on this blog though. SORRY!

-The Master of Splap

Hampster

2005-06-21T18:56:00.000-07:00

I adopted a Splap hampster. Look near my links to play with him.

-The Master of Splap

T-SHIRTS ARE COMING!

2005-06-21T18:45:00.000-07:00

Hey all! Im going to start printing the t-shirts! But first, I need ideas and images. And you can buy one when I figure how much to charge! I want to kind of give these away. But I have to charge for shipping and the cost to make it. So people, please tell me some ideas!

-The Master of Splap

The way of splap

2005-06-19T18:19:00.000-07:00

Hey all of my wonderful fans! Im going to start a line of t-shirts! Splap t-shirts! Thats right! When I get to it you can order one for a MYSTERIOUS price! Seriously! I also got a new camera! I am going to start making movies. I am also going to figure out how to post movies on my blog! YAY! I am going to start a hidden camera comedy thing with it also. MORE INFORMATION ON NEXT POST!

-Th Master of Splap

Jess..

2005-06-16T22:06:00.000-07:00

"Hey dudes. My Summer has been so cool! I met this guy Nathan, but I can't tell you where I met him.All I can tell you is he is really hot and really sweet. But anywayz, I have mostly been in Florida just swimming and stuff. All the swimming has gotten me real tan. It's awsome!!!

I would like to say hey to Amanda and her bf Cody. And say that Cody is lucky because this is the first of Amanda's bfs that she has actually really liked! I am sooo excited. And he is NOT one of those pot smoking losers. And I would also like to say hi to......Every1 else that knows me! LOL.

lots 'o' love,

Jessica"

THIS IS A POST FROM MY X-GIRLFREIND'S SITE! WHEN SHE BROKE UP WITH ME, SHE TOLD ME SHE WASN'T READY FOR A BOYFREIND. OBVIOUSLY SHE IS BECAUSE OF THIS NATHAN GUY. But, I am cool though. She is just a girl and there is millions more out there and I am only fourteen and I will find another one.

-The Master of Splap

A mountain of Dew

2005-06-16T21:52:00.000-07:00

Are you a splapper? Do you need to be RECHARGED so you can annoy people? Then drink MOUNTAIN DEW! It is good for getting hyper! (note: Hyperness=Annoyingness!) So, drink Mountain Dew!

MOUNTAIN DEW!

-The Master of Splap

2005-06-15T07:48:00.000-07:00

my eye

2005-06-15T07:43:00.000-07:00

My body

2005-06-15T07:08:00.000-07:00

Frames

2005-06-15T07:01:00.000-07:00

I making a site with frames! You can put the frames in flash or windows movie maker, or some other program that is frame by frame!

-The Master of Splap

Birthday

2005-06-15T06:33:00.000-07:00

"TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!! YAY! YAY! YAY!" says the fourteen-year-old at his computer. He is filled with glee, for this day is the best day in a very long time. He types the following paragraph on his computer:
"TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!! YAY! YAY! YAY!" says the fourteen-year-old at his computer. He is filled with glee, for this day is the best day in a very long time. He types the following paragraph on his computer:
"TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!! YAY! YAY! YAY!" says the fourteen-year-old at his computer. He is filled with glee, for this day is the best day in a very long time. He types the following paragraph on his computer:
"TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!! YAY! YAY! YAY!" says the fourteen-year-old at his computer. He is filled with glee, for this day is the best day in a very long time.

Annoyed

2005-06-12T20:39:00.000-07:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhh!!!!

Oh my god! i just typed a huge post and then it got deleted when i was supposed to copy AND paste but copy didnt work so i pasted anyway and it was something else saved and now im really mad and i dont care about indenting or capitilizing my "i"s!

...

...

Well, I guess I splapped myself.

-The Master of Splap

The polls

2005-06-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

I GOT SOME POLLS! Look at he bottom of my webpage!

Missions

2005-06-10T19:05:00.001-07:00

Hello! Welcome to Splap group training! To start your own splap group read the directions in the previous posts. But now you need to actually do things that are possible and wont get you into trouble (much).

Mission one: Find a parent/guardian/wife/husband/girlfreind/boyfreind and tell them you dont love them anymore. When they ask you "why not" run away and avoid them for the rest of the day/night until the next day. Then when the next day comes, pretend that it never happened.

Mission two: Scare a cat

Mission three: If you cannot find a cat for mission two, find another non-man-eating animal and scare it.

Mission four: Tie someone's shoelaces to the other shoe.

Mission five: Wear a thong (sandals or underwear)

Mission six: Become a NINJA for half-an-hour

Mission seven: Become an elite splapper by doing elite splap missions e-mail me in order to recieve your first splap mission! splapped@gmail.com

2005-06-10T19:05:00.000-07:00

FABLE STUFF IS HERE!

2005-06-06T09:16:00.000-07:00

www.xboxfable.blogspot.com yay! Has stuffs about Fable

Your own splap group

2005-05-31T13:21:00.000-07:00

okay, my fans are probally getting bored with me talking aboot my life. so here are more things to do with splap.

Helping other people be Splappers.
You can organize your own splap group to go annoy people. You can do tasks such as:

1. Get all the people in your group to do something random at a preset time

2. Do mimery on the street. (Clearwater Beach is my favorite place to do mime{yet again giving another way for wookie hobbit to find me})

3. Play with kittens.

4. Throw bags of dog poop everywhere.

5. Mow someone's lawn for free, when the job is done, charge them a lot of money.

6. Do graffiti on someone's research paper.

7. Make up your own special sign when you get enough annoying deeds.

When you make your special sign, you should talk to me about what it should be. You can e-mail me at splapped@gmail.com. Please dont use vulgar language when e-mailing me. When you e-mail me, tell me the things you and your splap group do. Give me a list of things you have accomplished. Geeks make the best splappers.

For more information, you can e-mail me again at splapped@gmail.com

-The Master of Splap

grr..

2005-05-31T12:08:00.000-07:00

UM, Jessica broke up with me not too long ago. Like an hour ago. She said that she wasn't ready for a boyfreind. Oh well. I dont need a girlfreind either I guess.

-The Master of Splap

"Date made of poop"

2005-05-31T06:45:00.000-07:00

Hey all you dumb heads! Im making a new site! Its all about Fable (XBOX console game)! But first, I need to explain my "Date made of poop".

So you guys know I have acquired a girlfreind. She wanted me to go to a "Jesse McCartney" concert. I never even heard that name. Until now. (He has no relation to Sir Paul McCartney). So i agreed. I told my dad and he laughed. I didn't ask. So when I arrived at her house. I met her Stepmom, who was to be our escort and chaperone, When she saw me, she whispered "He's Cute". (Dont comment on the weird picture of me below somewhere)

Her Stepmom was a blast. She was cracking many jokes on me and Jessica. We also had to pick up Bailey. ( I hope that is how you spell her name!). She was quiet the first hour, but started to be her usual obnoxious self. Which is okay because she is very funny! So then we were almost late to see the first performance, which was a band entitled "Bowling for Soup". But everyone (including me) was hungry. So we went to the mall to get some food,(and for some reason we had to get sandals for someone, i dont know why though, everyone already had shoes on!)

So I got some Chinese food. Lo Mein to be exact. Which was very greasy and tasty. The girls Had "Evos" (some weird healthy fast food place). We quickly went to the car and ate inside there. It took a couple minutes to arrive at the concert. (which probally give some "wookie hobbit" person my almost location lol!). When we were there we gave our tickets to this guy, he did the cool "rip in half" thing and gave us the wrong part. He noticed it and corrected himself, giving us the right half. We walked up some stairs and saw this guy signing autographs. He had very curly hair, but I forgot his name. Anyway, Jessica wanted to follow him when he started walking towards someplace that i dont really know where te hell he was going. Jessica went up to him and poked him. He looked her. She looked at him, dumbfounded, he did the same for some reason and kept walking.

Then after a couple seconds of doing absolutley nothing we headed for our seats which was located up a flight of stairs and into one of the many doors. And one of those many doors that opened to reveal a punk guitar wailing and about 500 girls screaming. I closed my eyes so I could withstand the pain of this terrible noise. But after a few minutes, I got used to it.

This is the point where the "date turned to poop." (quote from me). We found our seats in the back of the stadium/concert hall, which made Jessica a little sad. Then she started jumping up and down and dancing. I was not as entusiastic about it so I didnt jump and down. I just stood there trying to figure out what i should do. Her mother pulled me aside and told me to twirl her by taking her hand and throwing it above her head and she would know what to do from there. so i tried that. I put my hand above her head a couple times and it didn't work! BECAUSE I AM STUPID AND FORGOT TO GRAB HER HAND FIRST! So I ended up looking like an idiot putting my hand above her head for no reason. Then I just sat down. She talked to Bailey for the longest time. Her mom started talking to me. We talked about many things, in which I cannot recall.

So I put my arm around her when she settled down. We sat there without saying anything. Nothing really happened because it was diificult to talk because of the all the girls screaming for this Jesse McCartney (who appeared a half hour after Bowling For Soup). The date ended after leaving the concert after it was over and driving to a payphone so I could contact my dad. Jessica's stepmom dropped me off at my house. I had intentions of kissing her on the cheek, but it was ruined when her stepmom had suspicions of me making out with her.

That is the end of my date. I left out some personal stuff that the public does not need to hear about, because problems occur that way.

-The Master of Splap

sssspppplllaaaappp

2005-04-23T22:49:00.000-07:00

okay. you need to stop annoying people. i think it is enough. go up to everyone you annoyed and apologize. whether or not they care is up to them. dont pester them about it. up until now, splap was mostly a joke, but now we have to get a little serious. annoying people was just to get your spirits up. you should stop annoying people now. one way to make yourself feel better is meditating. i actually know meditating techniques. the first thing you need to do is relax. sit on a chair, or better yet, the floor. sit cross legged and take a deep breath. put your hands together and exhale. whilst exahaling, move your hands up just above and in front of your head. imagine blackness and all the bad in you coming out. nowtake another deep breath. bring your hands around and start from the bottom position. while doing this, imagine the whole universe focusing onto you. let the dark out, the light in. now, after doing this at least 8 times, consentrate on something you did wrong that day. then imagine what would happen if you would of done it better. do this for as long as you want.

-master of splap

nathan

2005-04-22T21:27:00.000-07:00

i have a friend. his name is nathan. he dosent know it, but he is a good splapper. he told me a story once, he said it funny, this is how it went:

" i had an iguana,
it whipped me with it's tail,
it bit me,
i took it in the back yard,
it ate a flower,
it went up the tree,
i got it down from the tree,
it bit me,
it ran away,
it went up a tree,
it fell on a car,
the guy who owned the car wanted $20 for the trouble,
i paid him,
i had the iguana back,
i took it for walks,
it had a leash,
it ran away again,
i found it,
i fed it strawberries,
i fed it strawberries for 2 months,
it turned red,
it died.

masters of splap

2005-04-12T19:23:00.000-07:00

If you somehow acquire 1,000,000 annoying deeds, then you are a true master of splap. one way to annoy people is to never walk. always stand somewher and let the line move or whtever and then run to your destination. NEVER walk. even if a school teacher is yelling at you.

annoying training

2005-04-03T14:12:00.000-07:00

all of my fans are probally great master annoying splappers. well, its time to show your skills. lets start with turning little kids into monsters. first, say to the kid "watch, this is gonna be so cool" then do something very annoying to someone. then, after its over, say "wasnt that cool?". the kid is dumb so he/she will say yes. then he/she will do that same thing. teach him/her more stuff to make them a future splapper.

2005-04-01T18:18:00.000-08:00

cool pic

WAGA WAGA SPLAP!!!!!!!!

2005-03-27T17:57:00.000-08:00

Okay you people. you want to know what splap truely is? well, i am not sure yet. all of us will find it in our lives as we continue to annoy and make people laugh. it is spiritual. it is hidden everywhere. and your job is to find it and release it. Do not worry, it is not a fart. -the master of splap. p.s. killing animals is not the way to go with splap.

my grandma's phone number

2005-03-26T07:51:00.000-08:00

all of my fans are probally wanting my grandma's phone number. because they know how awesome she is. I'll give it to you under one circumsize= dont call it or i will do bad things!

1-234-567-8910

-the master of splap

p.s. if your smart, you know that is fake

totally splap.

2005-03-26T07:28:00.000-08:00

okay. all those annoying deeds must have made you in tuned with splap. this is good. concentrate on all the mischief in your body... now, RELEASE IT! do whatever your splap desires.

-the master of splap

p.s. this may cause problems, if you are not
totally in tuned DO NOT do this. keep
getting annoying deeds. you need at least
1000 annoying deeds to do this!

2005-03-26T06:32:00.000-08:00

every single bird in this is splapping my grandpa. ha ha ha ha! go birds of splap!

frikin lots of splap

2005-03-26T06:18:00.000-08:00

All of my fans probally have done a lot of annoying deeds. you guys probally came up with your own ways to do them. Use this post to tell everyone what they are and how to do them.

2005-03-25T21:32:00.000-08:00

my dog!

2005-03-25T21:27:00.000-08:00

cool

calm down

2005-03-25T19:38:00.000-08:00

Okay, after doing all those annoying deeds, youre mind should be filled with sensless information. Read what my music teacher wrote to make you appreciate something:
g4st
I am not sure who I might be addressing, I feel as if I am typing some sort of advertisement or resume in an attempt to engage a fellow human in some sort of dialog. Instead of trying to sum up all of my passions and life changing discoveries at this late hour, I will attempt to just let the words flow out of me. Without fear of misspellings or other miscellaneous gramattical errors. Being a teacher one becomes more concious of those things, especially in front of a classroom full of uninhibited children. I am fascinated by fluency. The act of trancending mechanics to attain pure expression. Intentions are key, emotionally, when the heart controlls the vision then the mind is set free.

Im not uninhibited.........maybe.

-the master of splap

even more splap

2005-03-25T16:12:00.000-08:00

Okay, I found a SUPER way for an annoying deed. This is worth 3,000 points!!!! This is what you do, if you know someone that works at a place where they print the Mc Donald's bags, ask them not to print the "TM" mark on the logo. Then get someone who works at McDonald's to give you that bag when you order food. Then, start your own buisness and use their logo. Wait until McDonald's find out and takes it to court. Use the bag your friend gave you for proof. When the CSI type people look at it, they will find out that there was no "TM" logo to begin with. You will most likely win the case because you "Didn't know" and "dont have a T.V. that displays McDonalds commercials".

This will most likely annoy the crap out of McDonald's so you can get 3,000 annoying deeds!

-the master of splap

more splap

2005-03-25T12:52:00.000-08:00

to be totally in tuned with splap you have to do annoying deeds. annoying deeds are actions that raise people's blood pressure and lower their patience level. if you need help with annoying deeds, here are examples. WARNING! Doing annoying deeds can be very bad. make sure the person is happy with you after doing your deed. (apologize, make them laugh, etc.

Ex. 1 (worth 10 deeds): after someone is done explaning a long story tell them you didn't hear a word they said. after they get annoyed and youve had your fun, apologize and tell them the truth. (unless you really were not listening)

Ex.2 (worth 30 deeds): when you in a bathrrom stall, and someone is in the stall neighboring you, take a mirror and position it right so you can see their face and say, "i see you!"

To learn more on how to annoy people, just go to www.GetAnnoyed.com

this ninja guy

2005-03-22T21:23:00.000-08:00

This guy is called robert hamburger. thats his pseudonym, his real name is something else. this guy is wierd. he writes the funniest and pointless books. this one is about ninjas. he is supposed to be a 10-year-old kid whose mom is on menopause. he is hyperactive and took a week to write a book on them. here is a quote from the book/website/movie

"Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Ninjas are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start yoga next year. I love ninjas with all of my body (including my pee pee)."

you can check his stuff out at www.realultimatepower.net buy his book, it is so funny.

-the master of splap

out of control

2005-03-22T18:59:00.000-08:00

I hate the idea of pot and excessive beer . i mean, you lose total control of your body. i want to be in control of what i do. i mean the world is out of control right now. what is the point of making yourself out of control? the only thing you get out of pot is laughing and the occasional hallucination. it screws up your brain if you take a lot, and believe me, there is no such thing as just enough. pot leads you to take other sometimes. you get high for a half hour after a bowl, and thats okay. but, you want MORE. so you take other stuff: opium, heroine, crack, lsd, etc.

So all you dope heads and drunks can argue with me, but this is my case, there is no way in hell you can change my mind. some pot heads and drunks were like me, but i am a man who sticks to my word when i promise, and i promise.

-the master of splap

rainbow

2005-03-22T14:01:00.000-08:00

i love color schemes. watch mine
SPLAPPED
SPLAPPED
SPLAPPED
SPLAPPED
SPLAPPED
SPLAPPED
SPLAPPED
SPLAPPED

-the master of splap

splap?!

2005-03-22T08:59:00.001-08:00

All of my fans are probally like, "what is splap? I mean this guy is awesome, but what is splap?"
well, if you wait just a darn second, i can tell you. you see, splap is like stuff......

-the master of splap

splap?!?

2005-03-22T08:59:00.000-08:00

okay okay. ill tell you. splap is like god. you need to worship it. Splap is everything. but mostly, splap is the stars. If you want to see splap for yourself well, you can only see the stars. there are 2 ways to see it.

One: find a small child's pull up bar, it has to be at head level. Take 30 paces away from the bar. now, as fast as you can, run at the bar! make sure your head makes extreme collision with the bar. you might see everything turn black. if this happens that is good. when you awake, get up super fast and start runng. you will see a bunch of stars. this is splap.

Two: this way is much easier. you dont need any bars. get your lazy butt off the computer chair, now look down and hold your breath tense up all the muscles you possibly can. hold this for 30 seconds. now, let go of your breath and look up real fast. you will see the stars of splap.

-master of splap

flippin bored

2005-03-22T07:20:00.000-08:00

gawd i am bored.
go to these blogs

liam-e.blogspot.com

g4st.blogspot.com

-the master of splap

stuff

2005-03-22T06:33:00.000-08:00

yay! no pressure washing today! i just haf to rake. i hate raking though. im sitting here with my shirt off. keep dreaming. cause im so sexy. ! i cant do html stuff im on a mac.

-the master of splap

woo hoo

2005-03-21T16:49:00.000-08:00

second day with this blog thing... my dad is mixing records with his dj skillz. i am sitting in the same room typing this. i had to go to work today. BOOO!!!! i hate work. i have to work tomorrow. i have to pressure wash the WHOLE dang house. jeez. then i get to go to LASER EXTREME!!!! im in the leagues. woo hoo. go ahead laugh at me. i am a dork. im getting trevor, christan, um. evan. um.... stuff......

-the master of splap

"l"

2005-03-20T21:32:00.000-08:00

l is a letter. dont you LOVE it? ha ha hathat was the funniest joke ever told. well i guess i have been...

SPLAPPED!